(Petty Rant)

This is not my facebook, but one of my friend's. I just need a minute to grasp, and some insight: How in the hell do you manage to like almost 3,000 items?  I'm just at a loss...ok, I see some groups where I'm like "I like this" *add* (I only like 60 groups btw), but this is some compulsive shit. You like a lot of shit, but just please spam the shit out of my timeline with your fucking vain ass, trendy song lyrics/tv shows/quotes that you like. "OMGGG! I luv that song *like* wish right now.. txt it :D ♥" (repeat dialogue 10,000x) And its not like they binge and purge their likes, they religiously add about 50+ groups a day. Like something in excess that is TANGIBLE...hoard cats or something, or start using meth.

Anti-Everything. Watcha for? Against?

Maybe this stems from the recent passing of the health care bill, I don't know...Yeah, that's exactly what it is.

So, after it passed (which actually I am for) people on my facebook we're talking about RIP the American Dream, democracy, joining anti-health care groups. So I couldn't resist, and posted this on my facebook:

"Jackie loves laughing at the unneeded panic from the far right...I almost want to tell them McCarthyism ended in the '50's."

Now, while the point I was making was unneeded panic, it was more deep rooted. Do you know what you're FOR? These 19 year old kids just hear what their parents say...and run with that shit. Let's do our research, and then tell what we are against/for? Please?

What's the American Dream that died? Better yet, what is in the health care bill that killed it? Even better: What is in the health care bill that you're against?

Simply put: How can you be against something if you if you know NOTHING?

(unrelated: we gotta resurrect this site. INVITE <3)

Fishing for compliments? You'll get an insult...

(Before I start, let me apologize for not contributing to this community for awhile - I've been so busy with my first year of college..blah blah blah).

   I don't even know where to begin with this, maybe it's just me being ultra sensitive about everything. For some reason when I hear statements such as: "Oh, I'm so ugly/fat", "This shirt is ugly", "Yeah, I know this picture I drew was sort of lame", etc ...I almost want to reply in agreement with their statement. Why? Because this is the exact opposite of what they want. I feel like some people tear themselves down for the sole reason of getting 50 sympathetic voices to say "aw, that isn't true". I don't know, I always tend to have more respect for someone who has confidence in themselves regardless of other people over someone who gains a false sense of it from others comments. If you are confident in yourself, compliments will come naturally, not because I feel compelled to offer you one but because you actually deserve one.

I'm so confused...

So I have been dating the same guy for 3 years (he is my first boyfriend), and recently I moved away to college and have started to meet new people and make new friends. Well I met this guy and we really hit it off, so much so that I'm beginning to have feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he has some for me. Like last night for example, Steve (the new guy friend), 2 other friends, and I went out to a playground and were having fun there for awhile, well after we had dropped everybody else off later I still wanted to spend some time with him so we went in my room and layed down and talked. I'm a very physical orientated person so we were close and if I was laying on my back he would have his head resting on my shoulder and if I was on my side he would have his head resting against my back and I loved it. I just feel so comfortable around him and he would say these sweet little comments about how soft my skin was or how nice I smelled and he offered to give me a back massage (I have a bad back) and it was amazing. We fell asleep together and i actually stayed close to him in my sleep which never happens with my boyfriend. I know that what I'm doing is technically cheating and I feel absolutely horrible about it! On one hand my boyfriend can be moody and jealous but he relies on me so much (he has already decided i'm the woman he is going to marry) and I'm the only person he trusts and I know that if I break up with him his whole world would crash and he would be depressed and angry. But on the other hand "Steve" makes me happy and I feel so comfortable around him but I haven't known him for very long. I'm so damn confused and I don't know what to do, i love my boyfriend but I'm starting to love "Steve" too...

Any suggestions?
  • Current Mood
    anxious anxious

I wish I was strong enough to cry

I miss my best friend.
She lives a thousand miles away, and she won't come online to talk to me. She's been 'too busy' to exchange so much as an email with me for over a month now. She expects me to believe that she hasn't been online at all during that time.
I bet she's been on every damn day and just has me blocked so I can't see her status...I text her everyday asking if she'll have time for me..most the time I don't get an answer. When I do get an answer, it's something along the lines of 'no, sorry..I won't be home tonight.'
I'm losing her again; she's fucking me over and not giving a shit about how much it's hurting me.
And the terrible thing is..I still love her.
More than anything, the strongest thing I feel for her is love.
This girl has been one of the closet people to me for four years..and she's done this to me before. I lost all contact with her for almost a year, because she was suddenly 'too busy' for me..I just got her back a year ago, and now it seems the cycle is starting all over again.

I want more than anything for her to be happy with the person I am and to love me just as much..to care about me and my happiness..Not to walk all over me and not give a damn when she pushes my face down in the mud.

I can't play these games anymore..I'm tired of being the one that shuts up and lets her take advantage of me. I'm tired of missing out on things I want to do in my life just so I can sit in front of a screen and IM her when she finally finds the time to talk to me. I'm tired of being the one that get's let down all the time. I'm tried of being the one that NEVER lets her down..I'm tired of being the one that's always there, when she never is..I'm tired of being the one who has to hurt. I'm so DAMN tired of being the one who gives a shit, when she clearly doesn't..
And I am so tired of being the one she thinks she can turn away from, and run back to when she suddenly remembers how much she loves me. I'm tired of being the one she feels guilty over for stabbing me in the back. I'm tired of being the one with the open wounds all the time..and I'm tired of her never being there to stitch them back up when I really need her to. I'm sick of how dependent I've been on her, when she's the least dependable person I've ever met. I'm sick of the lies and the deception and the petty bull shit she always pulls..I'm tired of her trying to hurt me, just to see if I'll get angry at her..I'm tried of being her damn toy.

And yet..Now she's not here again, and I'm so frustrated.
I miss her..

I'm losing her,
and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.


Places where you can find some pictures & videos:

Google   (videos and images)
Photobucket (videos and images)
Buzznet    (music videos and images)
Yahoo!       (videos and images)

*Remember to post a link if using a video, and images over 400 px WIDE must be put under an lj-cut

Where to host images:

Tinypic (recommended)

Where to resize images:

My Resizer
Smart Thing

Where to optimize (make memory amount smaller) images:

Dynamic Drive

Post Example

You know FreeCreditReport.com? Well you probably have.  They play the goddamn commercials 25 million times a day. And we are criticizing Guantanamo bay for torture. The extremely screechy sound of "Free Credit
REEEOPT. Com"! is in my ears longer than any waterboarding (see also stocks,sleep deprivation, whippings) could ever be a
pleasure (it can only be a pleasure compared to this) to me. When I'm sitting down only two things happen now: a) I am
singing that blasted jingle in my head or b) someone else is singing the jingle out loud. So thank you free credit report, you have
made brainwashing into a 30 second catchy jingle.

See The FAQ  page if there are any questions involving posting.